


Still

by brumalbreeze



Category: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:14:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26191756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brumalbreeze/pseuds/brumalbreeze
Summary: Cater liked what he and Trey had now. “Friendship.”It was comfortable, and it didn’t require any more energy from him than he had to offer. He could joke with Trey as much as he wanted and flutter away any time he wished. There was nothing holding him down and nothing for him to break. The wide circle they had been pacing around for the past two years and some months was a familiar dance Cater was more than happy to maintain until they graduated.He didn’t want to lose what they had. To him, being with Trey was the closest he could be to “himself.”So why—?(Stream of consciousness TreyCater, focusing on Cater's vulnerability and unwillingness to acknowledge Trey's love and acceptance of him. Companion piece toReflect.)
Relationships: Trey Clover/Cater Diamond
Comments: 14
Kudos: 51





	Still

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't get this out of my head after reading Cater's side story in the Wish Upon a Star event... I always knew Traitor (TreyCater) had a lot of potential for angst, but I never would have expected it to be so... _canon_. /HUFFS
> 
> Oh, and if you were looking, I'm translating the [main event episodes](https://twitter.com/algidwind/status/1299308943013892096?s=20) as well as all the [side stories](https://twitter.com/algidwind/status/1299669179306450948?s=20).

“Cater.”

He looked up.

“I like you.”

“… Huh?”

For a second, he thought Trey was kidding.

No.

Cater didn’t actually think that. He knew Trey wasn’t kidding. Not with the way his eyes bore steadily into his. Not with the way he furrowed his eyebrows and pressed his lips together.

But.

He wanted to believe Trey was.

His expression went slack, but Cater immediately forced a grin on his face and laughed. “What? Are you trying to confess or something? Haha! I think you might’ve gotten the wrong person, Trey-kun!”

“I haven’t.” Trey’s voice was still and low, a placid lake on a full moon’s night.

“Aah…” Cater said, his eyes sliding to the side. “Of course you do! I mean, who wouldn’t like me, right? I get you, but you don’t have to go out of your way to tell me or anything. Anyway, I—”

Before he could try to run away, Trey gripped a hand around his wrist and held him firmly. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

Cater’s bottom lip trembled, and his eyes burned. Trey had cut off all his escape routes. Trey, who always respected the arm’s length he placed between them, who let Cater skirt around things as if he didn’t see them, who always pretended not to notice his false words and smiles.

Trey, who liked him

but was wrong.

He didn’t want Trey to watch him crumble before his eyes, but the grip on his arm was too strong and unyielding. Cater brought up his other arm and hid his face in the crook of his elbow. He knew the smile he had on was wretched, but it was the best he could do at that moment.

“You’re only saying that because you don’t know how annoying I am. And how clingy and whiny and petty. And how fake and empty I really am.”

If he revealed the deepest parts of himself to Trey, surely he would feel disgusted by him. If he knew the one he liked was “Cate-kun” and not “Cater Diamond,” he would undoubtedly give up.

Because Cate-kun was bright and cheery. He was reliable and funny, knew all the hottest trends, had a successful social life both on and offline, knew everyone and was known by everyone, was musically and athletically talented, was cute and popular, and loveable.

But he didn’t exist. Not really.

But.

Did “Cater Diamond”

exist?

Was he any more “real” than Cate-kun?

Did the bitter side of him who actually hated being in crowds and joking around, who was boring and had nothing to offer anyone, who just wanted to lie in bed all day and pretend the world didn’t exist…

Was he—real?

Was someone like that, who only appeared in the shadows of the night, when no one else was around or awake… real?

Cater liked what he and Trey had now. “Friendship.”

It was comfortable, and it didn’t require any more energy from him than he had to offer. He could joke with Trey as much as he wanted and flutter away any time he wished. There was nothing holding him down and nothing for him to break. The wide circle they had been pacing around for the past two years and some months was a familiar dance Cater was more than happy to maintain until they graduated.

He didn’t want to lose what they had. To him, being with Trey was the closest he could be to “himself.”

So why—?

“Cater.”

This time, he didn’t look up.

He jumped when he felt Trey’s fingers slide against his hand and gently pull his arm from his face. Although he could have resisted, he didn’t.

Trey had a look of deep concern on when he peered into Cater's face.

Through the reflection of Trey’s glasses, Cater was able to see what a disgusting mess he was. His face was blotchy, cheeks wet with tears, and mouth twisted in a crooked line.

His chest hurt.

He flinched when Trey cupped his cheek in his hand and swiped his thumb over his skin, likely smearing the diamond mark on his face. Cater closed his eyes and swallowed when Trey leaned closer and pressed his lips against his forehead.

“I know,” he said, wrapping his arms tightly around him. “I know, and I still like you. Every part of you.”

Something in him cracked. Maybe it was his resolve or willpower or…

He didn’t know. But it hurt, and it burned his nose and throat. It was as if he was drowning in seawater.

Trey’s embrace was so wonderful and warm, and Cater didn’t deserve it. Yet, despite knowing this, he didn’t want to leave it.

One day, perhaps, Trey will realize how hollow he is. And when he finds out Cater’s actually worthless and useless, he will leave.

But for now…

Maybe just for now…

He raised his arms shakily from his sides and clung onto the back of Trey’s school blazer like a scared child.

“Trey-kun…”

“Cater… I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still so weak... I can't believe Twst gave us canon!Traitor... There's so much I want to yell about here, but they'd be spoilery, so I'll refrain from doing so. :'-)
> 
> Anyway... I'll be... yelling a lot and losing my mind over Traitor on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/algidwind/) if you ever need me... I'm still so stunned...
> 
> Oh and, again, here are my translations for the [main event episodes](https://twitter.com/algidwind/status/1299308943013892096?s=20) and the [side stories](https://twitter.com/algidwind/status/1299669179306450948?s=20).
> 
> (And since you've read this far already, you might as well read [_Reflect_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26215663), which is this same story in Trey's POV.)


End file.
